Thursday, December 20, 2007

the promised land

tuesday...18th december was a day full of good news...it seemed surreal, such that it got me asking "what's the catch?"...there isn't many of such days in one's lifetime

i checked my estudent that day...and i saw there...written...confirmed...that i am all good to graduate....yeay!!!!! no...not really...it wasn't really a 'yeay!' but more of 'alhamdulillah'...and a deep deep sigh of relief...i mean, results was ok...but seeing that confirmation had effectively put all doubts to rest...

then i saw my scheduled graduation ceremony...17th april 2008.....what?! SEVENTEENTH APRIL TWO THOUSAND AND EIGHT??!!!!! (i spelt the numbers...meaning it's a HUGE shock..hehe)....that's my birthday!!!!!!!!!! now this time it is a big 'HAHAHAHA!'...wow...what a bonus!

i am really looking forward to that now...i will definitely come back to sydney for it...now the finishing line is in sight...i just cant wait to cross it...phewwww...really, if anyone understands what i've been through, they'd know how big a 'phew' that is....

i remembered a conversation i had with azan waayyyy some time ago...when i was dealing with my problems in uni and looking at people graduating...he reassured me that i will reach the promised land...i will cross the finish line in this race we call uni...it might seem like a simple point to make but being where i was back then, i really needed some serious boost in my self-belief...and those reassuring words couldn't have come at a better time for me...(thanks dude!)

Allah is almighty, he is Ar-rahman and Ar-rahim...all praise to Him for all this...i would never have made it this far (or anywhere near it) without His love...my parents, family and her ... they had been my source of strength...when times are tough and i felt that it is all too much...when the next day was a big exam and i felt i needed an extra boost...somehow...i feel their prayers and somehow that provided much needed source of confidence....

and all my friends who were with me all this while or at any stage of my journey, no matter where you are...whom i find support and happiness in...who believed...who made life here so meaningful....thank you all very very very much...

and...

later during the day i received a phone call from a company in malaysia whom i have been in contact with...and they confirmed an offer for me as finance analyst there..i am very thankful that i have this already...and while this sparked a whole deeper (and sometimes confusing and frustrating) self debate about my future, can i complain? no.

and so i hope everything goes well...the graduation...my career...and my transition to the next stage of my life...i also wish all my mates who are at the same stage here all the best and a safe journey into the new unknown...



p/s- i have watched 'Gone with The Wind' twice in the past 5 days!!!!! (anyone wanna make it thrice?) maaan....the movie is AWESOME....haha! how did i start this madness? RANDOM! yes tasha, randomness is COOL!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Sebuah entri yang padat dengan ucapan =)

Selamat pengantin baru Firdaus & Azlina~! Moga bahagia sampailaaa ke anak cucu =) Walaupun ko dah kawin, ko la muka paling kanak2 antara kite suma wahai arip...hahahahaha!

Tak sangka, member yang paling 'ABC' (*hint* Ali--Bu--Cro-- HAHA!) rupanya yang paling awal kawin antara kitorang....takpe, itu semua zaman gila-gila remaja, sekarang dah ade bini dah =) so, 1/4 dah settle...siapakah seterusnya? Firdhouskah? Lokmankah? Sunnykah? =P

Kepada member2 TESL cohort 1 yang akan mula bergelar cikgu tak lama lagi...selamat mengharungi pahit manis masam masin kehidupan sebagai pendidik...ajar laa anak orang baik2 ye...bagi je homework banyak2 macam kita semua dapat dulu2 *nada berdendam* haha! =P Kalau boleh, tiap2 minggu bagi spelling & dictation...muaahahahahaha~!

Kepada mereka di TESL cohort 2, bergembiralah semua di samping keluarga tersayang & malaysia yang panas & tanpa berbilik mandi en-suite (hahahahaha!) .... selamat menempuhi tahun akhir pengajian di IPBA dengan jayanya...moga berjumpa lagi =)

dan...

Kepada bandaraya Sydney....belum lagi...belum lagi...masih ada beberapa minggu =)

Monday, December 03, 2007

all will come to an end...slowly, yet surely...

it is almost the end for me here in sydney...or is it? well, i still have the matter of getting the right final exam results before super confirming that i'm on my way off..but..yea..i have a feeling this is it..dont wanna jinx it tho...Allah help me...

as of now...i am just slowly withdrawing myself from this place i've called home for the past 4 years...it isn't easy...only those who have experienced it would truly understand...indeed, i see everything now through a very different set of eyes...i will miss everyone who have been a part of my life here...and i will miss those who have defined 'life' here...

it can be sentimental...especially because i am the one leaving now...no longer being the one left by people (as was the case last year)...sometimes i feel a bit down when it seems i am the one being emotional about this departure...no..i dont expect others to be emotional as well...but like being in a relationship, once in awhile it is comforting to be shown the love, even when we already know deep down that our partner do love us...

anyways...as i said, right now im slowly phasing myself out...doing things i want to do...hanging with people i care about...i really must say that life has been great for me lately...

here's some of the things i've been up to:

1. chilling at kamal's place...like me, he too is leaving...i just hang around here, and we both do things we enjoy...like playing Pro evo soccer...talking about football...going to Sydney FC vs LA Galaxy a.k.a Beckham (wooohoooooo~!!!!)...Beckham's free kick is among the magical things in soccer...and to witness it live, with another soccer fan...wow....historic!

2. went to a full family karaoke for one last time...enjoyed it very much...i dont know about others, but it was certainly one of my most sentimental moments...the thought that it is the last complete karaoke session just cannot be brushed aside...

3. went to emergency room for labyrinthitis...damn...what a spoiler of a moment...i really want to thank all who have shown utmost kindness in that very short and random spell of sickness...from people at MHall like preveen who gave me soap n toothpaste while i was recuperating there, to the friends from macq who were very concerned like azan and joyce, to those who were there to witness the action (haha!) - zek, kamal, hawa, sheera, may, fini, anas, nik arif, firza, faisal and dewi...all that puking...im sorry guys...and i am deeply touched by the kindness...

4. coffee with faisal and edward till very very late, chatting, talking about things we all love to talk about...msian politics...student politics...mfest...tourism msia...those old guy's coffee shop conversations :p probably the last good long conversation between three of us before faisal leaves for good...i will definitely miss this a lot...

5. more choco san churros...man, i gotta stop...hahahahaha~!

6. enjoying LIFE...hahaha...bbq-ing n dinner by coogee beach...poker n frisbee at night on the sands, spending the night by the beach gazing at the stars..waking up to sunrise...it was cooool....i dont know when else in my life am i doing that again...

ah well...a month or so left...i must make the most of my time =)

Monday, November 05, 2007

Chocolateria San Churros - hebattakbolehbelahmantapgila

hahahaha...terkejutkah anda dgn pengakuan yang dibuat di atas???

hehehe...im the kinda person who dont care about food....my tastebuds cant really differentiate good or bad tasting food..they all are 'ok'....except for reaaaaaally good and reaaaaally bad...haa...that one i know....and i experienced something reaaaaallly gooood....

now...i dont care/cant see the difference betweeen chocolates...i am equally satisfied with either homebrand chocolates, lindts, max brenner..or even those coin chocolates....either i really cant taste the difference or my brain just shuts out that function coz i dont think it matters...

but!!!! on saturday night....after dissapointing effort by me kamal n dewi to grab dinner, we decided to go lepak at this place i read about in Grab Your Fork...

chocolateria san churros at Glebe...it's a spanish style chocolate cafe that also serves churros....here's the site http://www.sanchurro.com/. (SHEERA!!!! it has a page for recipees...maybe you'd be interested to try some =) ...macquarians, watch out!!! one is coming to chatswood!

maaaaaannnnn....it was awesome...for ONCE i reaaaaallly tasted how great chocolate is! (so boys n girls, it must be really goood!)...dewi said "lagi sedap dari max brenner"...kamal agreed...and we all really like the atmosphere...me n kamal had the 'buddha baci'...this classic thick hot choc with hazelnut...or something like that laaa (bukan tau sgt punn)...mannnn...reaaally satisfying....dewi had 'hot and cold'....classic thick hot choc with ice cream in it....

Buddha Baci

Hot & Cold

dewi ordered strawberries with white chocolate dipping (disclaimer: dewi yg order...nothing to do with me...me???strawberries???)....and we ordered the Tapas - some churros with choc dipping, with samples of different truffles n cakes...

Our Tapas (great selection!)

kamal ordered choco churros - churros with choc poured over it and served with choc ice cream...

Choco Churros

our table

i had learned from channel 10 NOT to hype up things too much so.....all i can say it, go and try it and experience it yourself...

for those who appreciate chocolate, maybe you would find it more rewarding and have a better view - so you must try this one and rate it yourself...but for those plain guys like me who dont wanna care too much about the marketing-driven-overcomplicating-chocolate-culture, just go and ENJOICE!!!

dewi control, kamal high...

dewi control lagi, sunny high..



Chocolateria San Churros
47 Glebe Point Road, Glebe, Sydney
Tel: +61 (02) 9692 0119



on a totally separate note: this is an item so very high on my wish-list (which i haven't really figured out yet)....who can grant me this wish....man....i will be forever grateful!! =D and my wish is......

(click to enlarge~!)

hehehehe....sankyu!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

a very very depressing song

WARNING....

VERY VERY depressing song...but i really like it...it is a nice oldie piece i must say...i heard it first on one of the Futurama episodes (ep: Jurrasic Bark)....one of d most touching cartoon scene in my not-so-broad cartoon-watching life (its the final scene before the ending credits...about a dog waiting for its never returning owner and dies waiting).

enjoy...

artist: connie francis, song: i will wait for you

Monday, October 22, 2007

Raya-raya and MFest AGM

So i'm back home after another weekend in the city...this time not as long as the past few weeks...but was a good weekend nonetheless...

finished an online test on saturday by noon, left home to newtown to pick up my some stuff at the dry cleaners, had a nice day (refer to previous post)...went to Barker's for the GQs open houses...it was all good...i missed a couple other open houses though...MSA, NAOMIs, UMNO...really sorry galv n co...wat to do...

anyway, in short, raya this year had been spectacular. all the open houses (6 attended in total...5 unfortunately missed...gahhhh~)...all the great food...the wonderful bunch of people whom i enjoyed it all with...

i wont say its the best coz really, how do we measure that? what i could confidently say is...i was really really happy...and its good that such happiness in celebrating raya has not deserted me after all these years.

thank you very much to the gracious hosts of the open houses ive been to in the past few weeks...you've all made my raya memorable...and to those who kindly invited me, thanks for the invitation, im really sorry i couldnt make it...

so...now to the next bit of this post...MFEST AGM

sunday 21st october was mfest agm...it was yet another closing to another chapter of my life story overseas...after 4 years being in mfest...its now officially over for me now...

to recap...i remember days during my first year when i was in d sketch team, and was also one of the MCs for the day...went on to be the entertainment EP during my 2nd year...became marketing EP and joined some performances during my 3rd year...and this year, i was d secretary and also part of the performing team...

ive seen the ups and downs of mfest, felt the emotions straight to the bone...from the ones cheered as the best in history...to possibly the worst mfest day...perhaps the magnitude of my twists and turns in this roller coaster ride was amplified even more with the amount of heart poured into it...yes...a lot...

its been one of my many great memories of being here in australia...it is also fair to say that mfest provided me with one of the best education uni could never provide...

i owe my involvement all these years to the comrades who were part of the whole ride like Zek, Faisal, Jenny, Edward, JX, Alan, Azan, and many more...and ive never forgotten the seniors who helped me became part of it all, and kept me going with their continuous support...especially my bro Wei who inspired me so much and was always there for me...thank you all very much...and i'm sorry if i've fallen short of your expectations - do know that i've done my best.

to the mfest comm of 08...i hope you carry the responsibilities with much heart n pride...do your best, so that it wont end up being a waste of your time, for you only get out what you put in...and in d end...remember to have fun =)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Life~

I juz picked up my suit from enmore,waiting 4 dewi at newtown..chillin in a cool n cozy cafe..live soothing jazz tunes playing in d background..good ol iced choc in hand..later,goin 2 another raya open house..good food n great company..

Life..mcm ni barula ade life =)

p/s:- yea,i'm mobile blogging =P

Monday, October 01, 2007

Greater Things In Life

I fell asleep around near 6am this morning...and I had a horrible nightmare...

I can't remember the last time I wept in my sleep...but it happened this morning...

I dreamt, my dad had a freak accident...and something horrible happened to him...he fell from a cliff...into a shallow creek below...and because of the impact at landing, he broke his leg...i saw his leg...exactly like mine when i broke mine...but when the doctors check...they say they cant do anything about it...they had to amputate...

i remembered thinking...shit...my mom x keje...i am still in uni...how???papa dah x boleh kerja...i cried coz i was worried for the future of our family...i cried coz i was sad that such a horrible thing would happen to a strong man like my dad...

well...its not all teary actually...even in my dreams, my randomness prevailled...for example, in my dream, i remembered that my dad had actually taken income protection insurance in case of working disabilities...INCOME PROTECTION INSURANCE????gahhh...and actually, in my dream, my dad told me not to worry...and casually reminding us "dont we have a 28million dollar house?? asset ada...28juta tu banyak...kenapa nak risau?"

WTFBBQ!

ok...seriously, i dont have such assets...and if such things were to happen...i guess it would be a really2 big blow coz seriously, my dad's the only one providing for the family...adik beradik semua kecik2 lagi...and...we dont have income protection insurance...

i guess i had that dream because somewhere in my mind is carved the thought that this is my final semester and soon i would be carrying a new responsibility towards the family...financial responsibility...to allow my dad some time to relax more...to allow my bro to do things he wanted to do...

the timing of the dream couldnt have been better...a reminder that there are greater things in life to worry about...and for me to realign my priorities...that i now have to be prepared for greater responsibilities...coz soon its no longer uni, assignmnts, student associations, etc...it will be looking out for my sibblings...my family...

...the greater things in life.


p/s: sunny...wake up...

Saturday, September 22, 2007

One Night In Randwick

i was walking on the quiet streets of randwick last night...
the air was chilly...with just a t-shirt, i looked silly

i saw in a corner, a guy sobbing...
perhaps of broken heart or of shattered dreams...
he was really hurt it seems..

in another corner, a guy angry...
he was furious at everything and cursed it all in his breath...
but in his eyes i saw that he was only mad at himself..

further up on belmore, a mad-man sings...
his tunes so heartfelt, of happiness and sadness...
my guess is he doesn't even know what feelings are coz his head, a mess...

a guy walked pass me, his steps quick - his eyes serious...
he looked determined, he knows what he wants...
he obviously thinks that to be wrong, he can't...

suddenly i heard tears of a girl...
i stopped and searched but i see no one...
the weeping is loud and it feels so near...
yet around me i still see no one...

indeed, the streets of randwick was quiet and deserted...
it was eerie...
i can't help but realize that those people were all me...
yet, the girl i can't see...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

To my DEAREST housemates...

To any of my housemates who download like shit, either being ignorant of the fact that internet in friggin AUSTRALIA has limits....or you are damn stupid hence recklessly download your korean/chinese series/porn/movies...

YOU MORON! IDIOT! MORONIC IDIOT! IDIOTIC MORON!
It's just 19 days into the month and we are already over the limit?????
KNNBCCB to ALL OF YOU!
I HOPE YOUR COMPUTERS' HARD DRIVES OVERHEAT AND BURN IN HELL, EVERY BIT (as in, 8 bit = 1 byte) OF 'EM!

WTHeck AM I GONNA DO WITH A DIAL UP CONNECTION FOR THE REST OF THE MONTH??

why am i so pissed off??????

it's not the first time ok, it's now the THIRD CONSECUTIVE month....YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND WARNINGS WRITTEN IN CHINESE IS IT? EVEN I CAN FRIGGIN READ THEM OK! NIASENG!

....

i hope you enjoy your porn for the rest of the month....while everytime i keep on cursing each and every one of you every second i wait for a website to desperately load...


peace out

Monday, September 17, 2007

ALL IN ~!

haha! those who know the story, you can guess already...but for those who dont...

i have been hired as the MANAGER OF MANCHESTER UNITED in one of simulated english premier leagues in the realm of online football manager~!

i am living my dream...although in a dream world....but...heh...how many out there could live such wild fantasies even in their dreams?? =D and now..the only logical next step is to win the league...i did it last season using newcastle united (with the help of some superb performance of other teams)...why not with Man U?

anyway... (ya...i know ppl get sick of hearing about OFM) ...

the month of ramadhan has arrived and its the 4th time i am going through the fasting month overseas...so far it's been great...berbuka with some of my best mates around sydney...yes, the crowd is different every year but Allah has blessed me with so many good friends throughout the years. from breaking my fast pretty much by myself watching simpsons during my 1st year, He showed me true friends whom i shared my ramadhans with since then...

yesterday was the day me and a few other mates decided to go 'all in'...check this out...me, faisal, zek, hawa, and dewi - we went for badminton in unsw at 8am, followed by squash at 9am...we finished at 10am...and while everyone was tired (considering we all were fasting), happiness was hugely evident...with hawa repeatedly saying 'happy..happy..' in such cheery mood all the way back to barkers, and us all planning for more of such sporty outings...you know its worth it...

as for me...it was just what i needed...thank you faisal for instilling that 'all in' spirit when we all had doubts about playing sports IN THE MORNING on a fasting day...man, the night before i slept at around 1.30am, woke up at 330am for sahur...can't sleep at all till it was time to go play...can't sleep even after coming back and showered...

my head was indeed in ting tong mode...but when i got phone calls from aizat n buk inviting me to join them for basketball at 3pm..maaaaaaaaannnn...how can i resist??????

ting tong or not...i dragged myself to join them all...and it was great...haven't played basketball for AGES and it felt good to be finally shooting, running, grabbing rebounds...of course...the thirst and fatigue was just like crazy...but hey...worth it man...

breaked my fast together with faisal in the car to a 1.5L mineral water....hahaha...felt so good...then later was at a bbq birthday dinner for galven and shim at macquarie with faisal...good food of course...at the end of the day, i was so tired and pretty much was like a zombie when we finally reached faisal's house at near 12midnite...

that is all from me for now...i really look forward to a happy ramadhan and syawal that follows...i want to be happy....but don't we all? =)


Sunny
Manager
Manchester United in OFM......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Anas and The Producers

Ni la performance kitorang masa MFest 2007, Sydney, Australia.
ANAS and THE PRODUCERS!
starring:
Anas as Anas
Faisal, Sunny and Zek as The Producers





Most of our practices were after midnight, sebab sumanye sibuk2 belaka...and kononnye to keep the project secret =P kononnya la...last2, kantol gak...

dahla sibuk keje2 mfest yg lain...sorang tu superstar, 3 orang lain EP kot...budak2 gila ni nak gak perform...takpe...GLORY WEH!!! wakakakaka....random shit....

Ni video rehearsal day, when the secret was officially no longer a secret:




Personally, I was friggin happy with our performance...and the really random advertisement for 100plus (no, we weren't paid)....altho, im pretty sure deep down inside we all know we were juz ok la...ahhhh...tak kira! hahahahaha....

Thanks Faisal for having this great idea, and Zek and Anas to willingly join in

p/s: terima kasih gadis2 bunga :p and tq bnyk2 idayani for putting this video up!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

who am i kidding?

today (technically yesterday, saturday, all the way to the wee hours of sunday) was a good day and a not so good day at the same time...

in this one day ive managed to experience so much emotions...and they are: happy, sad, excited, down, curious, upbeat, dissapointed, relief, lonely, stress, bored, thrilled, no-feeling, doubts, and much much more...

mgm itself was great...but... (disclaimer, this 'but' has nothing to do with the event at all) well, only zek n faisal now knows why the but...feel free to ask if you wanna know (or care to know)...you might make my day...

to a certain extent, today has seriusly brought up these thoughts in my head...

a) sometimes i feel totally useless...i feel like crap...like what's the point? who am i? it really sucks to feel that way...this whole feeling sucks in the first place, its kinda childish, it might not be warranted....and the worst part is...while i know how exactly to console a person in this situation...i cant do it for myself...i need someone to help me...but...well...ask me if you are interested to fill this void...(sincerity and understanding is most needed...i dont need a smart-ass debate, i already did that between me and me...)

b) i am kidding myself more and more each day...its a make believe land ive been living in lately, and i think the only fool is me myself...i shall try to stop pretending and realize the facts here...avoiding needlessly hurting myself and others...giving unnecessary pressure to myself with expectations that are seriusly unrealistic...in short: a certain something changed, i adjust, my expectations adjust, and as a result, reality hurts even more...

ah well..

p/s : bravo mgm peepz! this mgm will be remembered always....you all did well...salute~!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Online Football Manager 1 - Critics 0.5

Check out this post from Men's Health:
(yes...i read them...)

__________________________________________________

Be with You in a Sec, Boss ...

... soon as I check Randy Moss's hamstring.

Looks like management is onto us. Some brown-nosing geek with nothing better to do conducted a study that found that fantasy football costs companies nationwide between $275 million and $435 million a week because guys (and some cool girls) spend so much time at work researching their teams.

That adds up, over a 17-week season.

Love this quote from the outfit that did the study:
"There are some people who probably wait until the workday is over to strategize, make trades and manage their teams, but many are probably doing at least some of their team tasks from the office."

Ya think?

But wait—maybe the people who did the study aren't such killjoys. The researchers went onto say that cracking down on this activity could result in bigger problems.

"The potential damage to morale and loyalty resulting from a fantasy football ban could be far worse than the loss of productivity caused by 10 to 20 minutes of online team management."

Yeah!


_______________________________________________________

Sunny says....

BOOYAHHHH! ONLINE FOOTBALL MANAGER ROCKS!

Have a go at www.onlinefootballmanager.co.uk

p/s- any 'cool' girls wanna join? i can teach you how to play =P

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Happy Merdeka~!

To my country,

On your 50th year of independence, i just want to tell you i love u very much.

Some people hate you, some people selectively see and say only bad things about you, some people dont care - i am not them.

All the best in becoming a stronger, more prosperous, and more peaceful country. My prayers are with you...amin...


Sunny

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Poker Game of Relationships

I am damn bored...my internet is super slow, cant do shit with it really...blardy housemates who dwld like wan kind....im out of my house half of the time each week...which means IT WASNT ME!

Anyway...a few days ago, while walking, stressed, i thought of this theory for relationship, an anology for it... If you read on, you might even learn how to play poker (well, the basics at least) ~!

Firstly, in short, a poker game starts off with each player being dealt a pair of cards. if played till the end, each player uses his/her pair of cards combined with 5 other 'communal' cards, ie cards that are shared with other players too (making a pool of 7 cards) and determine the highest ordered combination of 5 cards (flush, full house, etc) they each have. players compare their combination, and player with best combination wins the round.

When the pair of card is being dealt, each player will assess the possibilities or strengths of the pair. if they think the pair is worth going on, or they just feel like it, the player will place a bet to join the game. else, he will 'fold' (meaning: cabut lari...pass the round).

Once who's in and who's out is confirmed, the dealer will unveil the first 3 communal cards. so now, each player combines their unique pair with the 3 cards to see how things go. is there hope for a good combination at the end? is it worth going on? indeed, with 3 new cards, the picture is clearer - these 3 cards now draw a dottted line separating hope and chance, dream and reality ... what might have been and what would be...

So, if the situation looks good, the player will continue, placing bets if necessary, taking risks. if situation is shit, hopes that came with the initial pare shattered with the 3 communal cards unveiled, the player will fold and not waste more resources chasing a lost cause.

the 4th communal card is then unveiled. players assess their position again. how are the chances? do i have 'something'? indeed, now with 6 cards in the picture, it should be pretty clear what the situation would be after 7 cards. again the process of deliberation - whether to take the gamble on the 7th card, whether to carry on, whether this bluff is worth it, whether this dream is now too costly....

again, a player may continue or fold. once the bettings are done, the 5th and final communal card is shown. now the picture is almost perfectly clear. almost, because you can only now know your best combination. win or lose, it still depends what your oppenents have. that, you can only guess. you still dont know, you will never know unless you go on with the final bettings, gambling what you have, taking more risks, to join the group of last persons standing.

now, at this stage, something interesting occurs to the mind. the player have already gone so far in the game. a lot have already been risked. folding means those resources put in is gone. the more you are in, the harder it is to get out. many would just go on because of this, some would still have the discipline to think losing X doesnt mean i have to lose more by going on...

then after those staying on have finished betting, all cards are unveiled. the winner is determined.

relationships are like poker games. you get into one with limited knowledge, there is only so much one can know about another without being in a relationship. you can hope, you can guess, you can extrapolate....you get into one....you risk time, effort, you feelings...you get into a poker game by just seeing 2 of 7 cards...

the more you get into a relationship, the more you know, the more is unveiled. your mind constantly reassess your position subconciously. is it as worth it as it initially looked? should more of everything be put into the relationship? indeed, the more u know, the more u know where 'your cards' are going...the more you know whether you should continue betting or fold...

but wait, knowing 'your cards' is just part of the game...what the other players have will determine whether u win or not. indeed, there is a huge part in relationship that's just a big black box. and so while you can get out of a game with knowledge of what you have, you can stay in with 2 ways - betting on what you have, or betting on what others have.

isn't that the case with relationships? you can leave because you are not happy. but you can either stay because you are happy or because you are not unhappy enough, you bet on 'the other player' - fate.

of course, in poker you can bluff. you can go on with nothing and hope you scare others, or call other's bluff. but in relationships, you opponents are yourself and fate, you are not playing against anyone...what's the point in bluffing yourself or fate?

so you either stay, and wait for the cards to be unveiled completely and find out whether you are a winner or a loser, whether your gamble has paid off, whether it was all worth it after all or not.....or you can fold, you wait for the next round, and wait for your next pair of cards to continue all over again...eventually, you will run out of chips if you keep folding...and at some stage, the game will have to go till the wire for you....

and so, that is all i have thought of during a walk on one warm night, while stressed.

maan...that was one productive walk...is this worth publishing in a magazine or relationship studies journal or somethin? hahahahaha.....


favourite word of the moment: between.

wakakakakakaka....

Monday, August 27, 2007

It Feels So Good Inside....

its monday morning...i had a good night's sleep...but adrenaline is still pumping like no one's business...i feel super happy....yesterday has not yet sunk in...its surreal....

yesterday was malaysia fest 2007 - a rainbow of cultures!

rewind a year back...when we all ended our duties as mfest 2006 committee...i chosed to continue on in the committee, alongside with jx, as the secretary...we both aimed at delivering a better mfest in 2007, and also providing experience to the new committee...

i realised some was dissapointed i didnt go for other posts, but what i did was necessary...no one really knew what was in for me in my 4th year here...i have way too much distractions in my head...but i still wanted to help...and so i went for the secretary post...

that was probably the best and worst decision in my life...haha...

in one hand...i hated secretarial work...nuff said bout that...

but in another hand....that was the only post that was ideal to suit my situation...well, maybe treasurer...but...nah...

so that was the gamble taken...after risking it all for one super mfest in 2006, i placed all my chips on this one day in the month of august, in 2007....it was all in....

the journey was long...it sounds cliche, but its very much like a roller coaster ride...at times situation was calm and controlled...at times blood was at boiling point...at times stress was unbearable...at times it was enjoyable...

sometimes, i did feel a bit useless...being 'just' a secretary...everyone had important stuff on their hands...my official job was just secretarial stuff...which i hated...

but when i asked myself why was i there...i knew it wasnt really to do secretarial work...i wanted to help...provide experience in the team...help jx...and so i tried doing all that...pitched in here and there wherever i could, while frustratingly resisted being too tied up to anything....

i dont know if i've done enough...or wether i made any real difference...i always feel i personally am capable of more...but given the restrictions that applied...that was pretty much it...

MFEST DAY ARRIVED!

i arrived around 8am+...straight to action with the VIP reception preparations...and then with the audio requirements for the whole show that day...this and that...maan...it was few hours of stress i tell ya...

the weather was super....a bit too hot, but still was super....while there were lil bit stuff here and there yet to be settled...i had a feeling it was going to be great...

things got off to a nervy start....with some glitches here and there....but moods were good after a funny speech by jx (hahahaha...and its not our 19th year, its our 17th actually) ...and then when the chinese fan dance started...whoah...we really were in business....

salute to the entertainment department for pulling off the best performances in mfest ever...i had the honour of working closely with this department and to all who saw the end product, lets just say, that was product of months of hard work, blood, sweat and tears...everyone who performed were volunteers, they all did it for many reasons...but i guess all in all its because everyone loved malaysia...

special shout out to my macquarie peepz...you guys again showed that you are class...well done...thank you... =)

marketing ppl did so good this year...it really has been a revolution...website aside, everything was great...it really has raised the bar higher, which have already been raised last year =P

the mfest committee was full of people with great enthusiasm and courage...some really amazed me...and i'm sure if you knew these people and how they worked..you would be amazed as well...to JX, i totally respect this guy who was brave enough to take up the hot seat, and has sacrificed a lot for MFest...it doesnt matter that you forgot it was our 17th edition =P

something like mfest...it requires heart to make it work...you cant just do it half heartedly...people who understand the soul of this festival knows why its such a big deal, why all of us are so emotional about it...people who dont bother, its not too difficult to see why they wont understand the emotions surrounding this event...

i'm not saying the whole thing is perfect, coz there will be a lot of issues to be tabled during the post mortem...but in general...it was great...and mfest 2007 definitely is the best in my whole 4 years of involvement....

so, to Ming Yow, Boon, Jenny, Zek, Faisal, Jun Hui, JX, and to the directors, volunteers, performers...the seniors who laid the good foundation we had...to all the unsung heroes...hats off to all of you...

i gambled it all on this one day...and im happy i did...

haaahhhhhhhhhhh (relief)


p/s- project 914 was successfull! hahaha...~*bila mama pakai celana (maaa maaa pakai celanaaa)*~

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

i miss...

i miss...

going home to ppl i call friends...or family...or both...home is just where i sleep on weekdays rite now...no, thats not home...thats just a house...

home is...jb...ipoh...cork...home is, all over sydney...randwick...newtown...muv...kingsford...home is where all those that matters are at...where i am happy to say "i'm home"...

home is everywhere except where house is rite now...

i pack my bags with as many things as possible, but my bag can only take me away from house for so long...and its friggin stupid that i have no choice but to go back to my house...

i feel that because house is not home, i am slowly being disconnected from home...from the people at home...the ones that really matters...i hate feeling disconnected...or...loosely connected...especially from people that i wish i was more closer with...

some people go home, their friends are just next room...next door...in the same building...now i understand why i was so happy when that someone was here...coz during that time...my house IS my home...

people who feel that going back to your houses is going back to home...be thankful...you don't know how much better off you are than people like me...

Monday, August 06, 2007

All Time Greats!

This is just a random post...about a lil something that i did a few days ago...

I have 952 songs in my whole music library...and they are somewhat random in terms of language and genre...there isn't much pattern that can be deduced by analysing them except that:

1- Sorted by artist, i have almost all Jay Chou songs, and quite good collection of Siti Nurhaliza songs too.

2- Sorted by date added, each time i add songs, the songs will have a particular theme. For example, one night i thought of the movie top gun, hence i downloaded some songs, and they all are from top gun. another night i am in the techno mood, and all songs downloaded are hence techno.

Anyway, a long long time ago, i decided to create playlists, and there was this playlist i created called 'All Time Greats', where i planned to put in only the greatests songs by my standards.

For a long long time that list was empty as i was lazy to browse my playlist one by one to evaluate their 'All Time Great'-worthiness.

one day last week, i stood up and said to myself, i'm gonna do it. not that i literally stood up or said anything, but, something like that lah...so i sorted my library via artist, and started listening one by one...evaluating, and then putting them in the list if they are worth it.

it was a long and arduous night...but finally i managed to settle the list once and for all...then i checked the list...419 songs...out of 952...that's FRIGGIN ALMOST HALF of the whole library! might as well just play my whole library rite? i would average about 1 click of the 'next' button per song i play....that's WAYYYYY easier than setting up that list...and plus...kononnye the list would be 'exclusive'...well, if half of my library made it into the list...exclusive lahhh sangat =P

but hey, since i set up the list, and play them regularly, i find that everytime i play em i will feel happy...coz its back to back songs that i like of all times...

for example, just now was 'Ya Zi' by Tarcy Su (this is a hit song during primary school years), then 'End of the road' by Boys 2 Men, then Tui Hou by Jay Chou, then Broken by Seether, then Feng by Jay Chou, then Dance Floor Anthem by Good Charlotte, then Wonderwall by Oasis, and now its Ghetto Superstar by Mya & Wyclef Jean....not bad for a random play aight?well, definitely very good for me =)



i'm happy...for the moment at least =)

Thursday, August 02, 2007

the wacky world of rewind!!!!!

woww....i have been away for some time now...well...i blame the absence on my laziness (and of coz, my busy schedule :p )

so...what's been happening? here's a re-cap of things that happened within the past couple of months....REWIND!*buzzizzziizzzzizzzzz*(kononnye bunyi rewind)

1- a special visit from a special someone....whoaahh...that was way way way way back, about 3 weeks before exams! i remember those couple of weeks...super happy indeed...a very special couple of weeks....

2- study + exams ... sungguh kan-cheong ... cemas ... thrilling ... tapi in the end, it was all good ... alhamdulillah....

3- holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!

4- NCG (national conference and games) 2007!! wuuhuu....i had a great time during NCG...with my kakis - the ultimate NSW cheering squad...hahahaha....(disclaimer: this has no significant correlation with the fact that it was in Melbourne...i wud have been equally happy being around the same company at another place)...

maaaaaan...i just cant explain how it feels to hear NSW being announced as overall champions....i lost my voice cheering...and it was all worth it!

anyway, masca nationals had our agm...and i think it went well...i have to say the masca national team this year had been great...it's a good combo within the nationals and also among all states...

5- back from NCG...holidays still on...sydney was juz plain quiet...i saw devan a few times before he left for malaysia for good...will miss him...one of my best friend in sydney from the beginning...

6- MFest in full swing....it has been weekly meetings since a few weeks ago now...with deadlines after deadlines, tasks after tasks...and i find that i just hate secretarial work....

7- UNI STARTS!!!!!!!!!!! and guess what...it's my FINAL SEMESTER! woohoo! i just cant wait to say good bye to uni...but not yet, not just yet...for now, all i wish for is to be here to complete this journey and reach the promised land...


Alrite...thats a very pemalas effort on recapping the events...but an effort nonetheless =P

anyway....there's this thingy that i am into for the past one half month....its called Online Football Manager! check it out at www.onlinefootballmanager.co.uk

if u are familiar with any football managerial game such as FM or CM, this is approximately like em, only much simpler (yet still fun), and u play in leagues against teams that are managed by real time players from various places on earth!

everyday at approx 12midnite GMT, a game would be simulated and the outcome pretty much is determined via the process of simulation, given the team settings and tactics from both teams, including some extra variables like luck.

aaaaaanyway....that's that...

now is a very stressful time indeed for me...i can sense the dark force pressing from left right up and down...we might not realise it, but nowadays, keeping sane is already a very difficult task...and for me, it hasn't been harder....

it's too complex for me to explain, but i can say this, the stuff im doing for mfest rite now has kept me going and happy...yes, i am happy doing it all...and they are not the source of my stress...i like the job, i like the company...and i look forward to every weekend...

of coz, i have to thank cik gg for being very thoughtful during these trying times...very supportive and understanding...i have had less time to be online chatting or on d fon, but she is mostly cool...hehe...cool lah cik gg ni! keep cool k? jgn tiba2 emo or mood swing k? hahahaha =)

that's all for now...bye~

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Don't burden our kids (in the future)

I came across this article in today's thestar.com.my, it was talking about how malaysians generally are not well prepared financially for retirement. basicly, while many would agree that sound financial planning to face retirement years is important, not many have actually made that effort. (do read on, as this is no usual emo or what-i-did-today or manchester united blog entry =P)

so, do we expect that our children will take on that financial burden for us? i don't think that is very wise simply because, if you look at children as investments, one that will generate some sort of future income for us (and we certainly are thinking that way if we expect them to provide for us), they are really very insecure investments. how certain are we they will turn alrite, enough to provide for us financially? how certain are we that we are good enough to nurture them well such that they wont ditch us? how certain are we that somewhere between now and 35 years from now, nothing screws up? nope, we cant largely depend on them, its too risky and its not right for us to demand so.

a short sidenote here though, while we cant and shudnt really depend on our children in the future, i believe we as children should always try our best to help our parents financially. u c, this is a responsibility for children (like us now) to realize, but not for parents (like us in the future) to impose on.

now, my dad runs a small business at a fish market in JB, and my younger brother (now 20) helps him. although businesses dont have compulsory EPF (KWSP), every month he will put some money for himself, my brother, and also for my mom (not working). now my dad or mom never went to uni to learn finance or things like that, but i think this whole concept of saving early for the future is easily understood, and it makes sense. hence, its really up to everyone to have a lil effort to put aside whatever we can afford for the future.

here is one simple diagram that demonstrates the power of compounding interest, and in short it sez, saving early is better than saving later, even if you plan to save more later.

n_interest.jpg
(i dont know why the name 'Michael' and 'Terrence')

now, you dont need to understand the maths behind this (although its actually not difficult if you want to) but i can assure you thats the truth. insightful?

then, there is the classic question of - 'will the money be enough?'. now, thats widely discussed in the article on the star and it demonstrates that: depending solely on EPF(KWSP) will not provide enough, given the price inflation expectations and how much we get in return from the savings. how to get about this? well, generally, few suggestions would be - save more (than what's compulsory under EPF) or invest, on top of EPF, in other instruments.

however, it is understandable that sometimes its very difficult, given that wage is not high, and we have other commitments too. but think this way, is it really not enough or are we spending more than we should (like, x ukur baju di badan sendiri). for example, maybe if we buy a car, we should consider, can we really afford this car? and some people say they can afford them because its within their budget, given their income. but did that budget include savings? "oh i'll save later" - behold, the trap.

yes, there are those who are unfortunate, where their wages really cant allow for enough savings for the future. i really do think thats where the government should come in with some sort of a safety net. although, i think thats really not easy to implement - easier said than done.

that is pretty much it from me, do read the whole article here (<--click). beware though, i think the article is slightly biased and a lil too conservative. this is simply because in it, its mainly people from the investment banks or insurance speaking, i mean, of coz they want u to use their products. plus, the part about inflation expectations is definitely a lil overstated and conservative (possibly to scare people)- inflation is unlikely to be 6% every year for the next 40 years.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Not A Good Day...

hmmm....

i woke up today, not wanting to wake up...sigh...

u can probably guess, typical sunny...it has to be something related to manchester united...well, yea...sorta...that, and some other things...but mainly that...(plus trying out crossword puzzle and confirming that im shit)

man u lost the game last nite...the one i have been looking forward to all week and the one i wanted to do something special for...it was all frustrating...the game, the goal, the aftermath...and when i wake up...i juz felt like shit...and its already 430pm...nothing much has helped making my day better...

ok, maybe some might think its a bit too much that all this is because man utd lost last night to chelsea in the f.a. cup final...but think of something meaningful in your life...and think of something bad happening to it...well, its approximately something like that...

ah wtf...those who dont understand wont understand...

damn i wish i had some ppl who feel me rite now to juz help cheer the day a bit...feel down...and nothing this day had helped much...everyone is either busy, or has plans/company...or is doing something i dont feel like doing...

ah wtf...
who cares...

Monday, May 07, 2007

Salute to the Red Army!

Glory Glory Man United...
Glory Glory Man United...
Glory Glory Man United...
and the REDS GO MARCHING ON - ON - ON!




Wow...i woke up today, while still in bed, was already thinking of headlines that i would soon read online ... among them... "Drogba Saves Chelsea" , or "Wenger Furious At Referee", or "United Have To Wait" , or (more possibly) "Arsenal Goal-front Blunder"...

For those who have no idea, to cut it short, last night Arsenal was playing against Chelsea in the EPL, and if Chelsea fails to beat Arsenal (ie, draw or lose), then Man Utd will win the English Premier League for season 06/07...

So, i was in bed and ready for the worst...actually, i was dreaming that i read the news and found out that chelsea won...then i woke up...and i tot...'Hah! It was a dream!'.... then i think i read the news for real, and it was bad news again....just then, i woke up again...and i went 'Damn! another dream?!'....so i got up for real...checked the news...and woooohooooo - chelsea drew with arsenal...and MAN UTD are CHAMPIONS!

Growing up, i was never a soccer fan...in fact, i couldnt understand why em losers would watch a game where you sit for 2 hours and on average you just get 3-4 goals...heck, go watch NBA la!

I think i became a man u fan around 2002/2003...and i wasn't really into it yet when they won the premiership that year...unfortunately, when i was more into it, man utd went through some bad spell, and did not win much...

So, this is the first premierleague victory for my team, that i have actually followed them week in week out, day in day out - yes, i check manutd.com every time i have the chance! Hence, i can claim that i am a part of this historic year, and that this really means a lot...

Well, victory is sweet, especially when thats where your passion is...i missed this feeling...Chicago Bulls gave me this feeling sometime ago, then it was Ferrari F1, and now...Man Utd...

I doubt very much anyone from Man Utd would actually read this but guys over there at Old Trafford, congratulations and thank you! and of coz, to those Man U fans out there who root for this team we claim as ours, you rock! Arsenal, thank you ( =P ) , and yes, the non-believers, try again next time.

So now, the future. We sucked against AC Milan, but i damn hope united will be up for it next year for the Champions League. and of coz, we still have one more trophy to go for...the FA Cup! So, to that i sing....



"Wembley~ Wembley~ We're The Famous Man United and We're Going To Wembley~!"

Monday, April 30, 2007

Politics...some ramblings

So the past saturday was the Ijok by-elections in selangor, malaysia....i have been following this one rather closely (well, not thaaat close, but ok lah)....i dont quite know what to say about it...

1. so many are so childish - this supporter attack that supporter, that supporter attack this supporter....if you are a gov supporter, u probably hear only about opposition party supporter attacking bn ppl, if you are opposition supporter, you would only be hearing about gov supporter attack opposition ppl...everyone wants to play victim, everyone is coward to disclose truth and condemn own ppl...

2. fanatics sucks (and they are the ones that matters? what happened to the more well educated and clear-thinking malaysians?) - i saw some keadilan videos n some bn videos too...both supporters are equally crazy and psycho...shouting n all (oh keadilan ppl, dont juz talk about KJ, you ppl shout like one-kind too)...keadilan would go talk bad about bn ppl, heck, u aint well behaved urselves when i see how you are...same goes for bn...these wild chants really reminded me of high school years when you have kids who arent mentally well developed yet and irrational, rebellious, etc - when shout and fight is how things get settled.

3. opposition ppl likes to play victim - yes, they are victimized in some way, but then some one brilliantly thought, "hey, lets play a bigger victim and gain more sympathy now that we are victims...lets blow the proportion up a bit more...heck, lets play ultimate victim: heroes oppressed from all angle". sheesh...one day when you are not opposition, lets see how 'good' you are, when you can't possibly be the victim anymore... come on guys, in some ways the opposition might have been disadvantaged, but surely, not in ALL WAYS...what are the chances of that? don't read too many novels.

4. someone made a fake recording of alleged vote-buying transaction over the phone:




what a loser. its most probably fake. you clearly hear that the chinese slang guy is a voice over, cunningly edited to flow with another conversation. while cleverly timed, the conversations juz dont match up at times...now if you read the comments on youtube, you would see so many ppl juz blindly falls for it and goes on membabi buta with their rantings and cursings....

why can't people think a bit more to see what a junk this recording is? ok, well maybe i am wrong and the recording is genuine (and im not discarding that possibility), but the least, i think any rational person would listen to it and immediately go, "heyyyy, this sounds fishy" and be a lot more reserved in their judgement...

why cant they? too emotional perhaps. you know, people are a bit emo when it comes to other ppl being victimised (coz apparently victims are always right). fanatics, maybe. or plain ignorant. unfortunately, thats malaysian politics. emotional, ignorant, and fanatics (EIF). just go to any political party's gathering, you'll see, those are the 3 keywords.

sure, we have many clear minded people who are educated enough to make a well weighed judgement, but they dont matter in this malaysian political scene. truth is, unfortunately, EIFs are the ones that count, and as long as they are the ones who run the show, the above is how pathetic malaysian politics will be.

to people out there, here's something to ponder about. politicians have motivations. be it opposition or government, everyone will have their own personal agenda. everyone answers to someone, and everyone has to return favour to someone. you think government have cronies and are corrupt, guess what, if the opposition were to succeed, they too would need serius help from some important supporters. and these supporters dont want anything in return? dream on.

politics is very unlikely to be clean. so dont be fooled by choosing someone who claims they are clean and fair and just and bla bla bla, or appears clean n righteous (probably just good PR), for the reasons i gave above. you most likely won't get it if that's what you are looking for. instead, national and economic policies are clearer and they are more objective. hence, those are more worthy of our time and braincells than trying to determine who is cleaner or blindly following a leader with good PR.

that is all =)

Monday, April 23, 2007

Still breathing the sweet air, still living the good life =)

So my TWO WEEKS midsem/easter break had ended...and i have managed to accomplish almost everything that was listed in my holiday to-do list in the previous post =) all but organizing "the justice league" and *cough* studying *cough*...hehehe....

anyway, its fair to say that the holidays was quite eventful the way i see it, eventhough i would find trouble explaining just what exactly did i do...but in short: the holidays have been very kind to me...i had a great time doing whatever i was doing...and i was happy being with whoever that was there...

so today i am officially 22 years and 1 week old...last tuesday, 17th april, was my birthday =)

i would like to say gazillions of thank you's to all who made this lil birthday of mine special..the bday wishes and all...nothing is too little a gesture for me -> they all mean a lot to me...

i reserve special dedication to Dato Edward, Kristina, Azan, n Devan for the surprise on Tuesday night...story goes: that night i juz wanted to chill at devan's place coz havent been there for awhile (since his mom was around)...and on that day his mom left, tot that me n azan can chill there for dinner like normal...we could not do take away as we wanted to, hence we decided to cook...

i was lepaking in devan's computer room when suddenly i saw kristina outside...i went...errr...hi...errr...how come you are here? then i saw edward...and then it became clear -D'OH~! SURPRISE SUNNY! hahaha... so we had dinner, and played some poker, and then ate my bday chocolate ice cream cake...daym...it was a great night...thank you edward n kristina for making the journey up to macquarie all the way from the city! seriusly terharu beb...thanks all....(oh ya, azan n devan...you cheeky cheeky busy bees =P )

also special dedication to Nisa, Syada, Ana, n Durra for the bbq + nasi ayam + my 2nd bday cake that you ppl kindly made for me on friday =) usually i cant tell if food is good or not (maafkan tastebuds ku), but that night im pretty sure ive had a really good dinner and ate a really nice cake...saya amat berterima kasih kepada saudari sekalian kerana dengan baik hatinya menjemput saya utk menyambut hari jadi saya =) it was probably your kindness that made the food taste all the better, and the moment all the special.

finally, my special dedication to Zek, Anas, Arif, May, Hawa, Sheera, n Fini for the chill-out poker night and surprise on saturday. Zek insisted that we chill out on saturday night to celebrate my bday...and since i had no plans...why not, kan? So that night we were juz chilling, had delicious dinner prepared by may n hawa...then played rounds of poker...lepaking n joking around...

around midnite fini n sheera arrived after coming back from beyonce's concert...by that time, poker was already show down between me n zek...a few moments after that, arif turned off the lights and i tot probably they wanted to snap cool poker duel pictures of me n zek with lights off...so i was focused on the game - when they started singing happy birthday and i turned around and saw a brightly lit bday cake~! it was so sweet ... and i would have to go for sniffing test coz i didnt even smell the candles being lit behind me~!

and yes of coz, super duper timakasih cik gg for your hand in plotting the 3rd cake with zek...nakal ye? =P dari jauh pun nak surprise2 ye? hehehehehehehe...tunggu laa =P

again, thank you all...kam siah (hokkien thank you), xie xie =)

before i leave, i would like to make something clear here...

some friends ask me why i never organized anything to celebrate my bday and invite them, like a dinner or something...thing is, i dont really know why, but i am juz not the type of person that would organize things to celebrate my own birthday, nor would i kecoh2 about it...like, who am i to mafan you all, 'asking' you all to wish/celebrate my bday? i like celebrating others' bdays by planning surprises n all, but im contented enough celebrating my bday by juz chilling like any normal day...to me, getting simple bday wishes would already be enough to make my day simply coz i know i have people out there who remembers and cares...

so...yeah, i am now older, and i hope i would grow to be more wiser...few weeks ago i said all i wanted was to still be in sydney come this time...and im still here, still breathing the sweet air, still living the good life...i can't thank you enough, Allah, for all the blessings you have given me up to this moment...


p/s - tq alan lau ma man for calling alllll the way from KL! u friggin cool man~! hahaha =P

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

things i do when i'm angry

Tasha tagged me for this...and i think its quite interesting, because from high school years till now, my temperament had changed dramatically and hence my ways of dealing with anger.

I used to be very very bad tempered/hot headed. Right now, i've probably mellowed. Old age? hahaha...i call it 'getting matured'. So, here goes....things i do when i'm angry:

1. Shout.

i shout (more in the past) when im angry on certain occasions, and sometimes, the shouting would also include swearing. a recent example: a UTS player needlessly slide-tackled and injured one of my soccer teammates during sports carnival few days ago. they were 3-0 up, and it was a stupid+unnecessary challenge. i was mad coz i know how it feels to suffer such heavy injury like a broken bone, and i made sure that UTS player knew my feelings after the match by shouting at him and his whole team.

i felt bad after that for shouting, went to the whole UTS team, and apologized for my outburst, particularly to that guy - but i made a point that the message i was getting across stands.

2. Walk off or Send off

this is something i do when my anger is related to dissapointment. i would be still for a moment absorbing whatever that is happening around me, and walk off the scene to solitary to further calm myself and re-evaluate everything. i would return to the scene to confront matters, usually more composed and with an apology.

or, i would send off the person who made me angry, probably by asking him/her to do something else away from the scene or just take a break, so that i can cool down, then probably recall the person back when we both are ready to get over it all and move forward. sometimes there would be a verbal apology, but sometimes, apologies come in the form of actions and need not be spoken.

3. Be Funny, with or without sarcasm attached (usually with)

this comes in situation when somehow i could instantly get composed and find some witty remarks about the situation. usually the type of anger associated is not terribly serious.

in a stressful situation, an effective joke could almost immediately change everyone's gear to a more calm and constructive level, instead of staying full of emotions and anger. it's not easy to be funny when angry, but more often than before, ive been able to do it.

when sarcasm is being attached, it usually is aimed at a target that's not present, or source of anger that's elsewhere. this is simply because sarcasm can easily make the joke back-fire and trigger bigger flares of tension.

4. Slam my keyboard/desk + clinch my fist.

so far, no keyboards/desks had been broken, no fists were really thrown at anyone/thing but air. usually this method is used when dealing with computer-related anger. for example, when i play PES and have 15 shots on target but no goals, or a crashing computer (which has the most perfect timing).

sometimes its funny when i think back, coz sometimes, why i played the game in the first place is to relieve my tension - but turned out to have made me more angry. lucky, at least the anger is channeled elsewhere.

tip: buy a 15 dollar pariah keyboard with hard keys - they are as effective as the fancy-mancy ones, but are much much more durable, and they cost less if destined to be destroyed by anger-driven mighty you.

5. keep mum + long breaths + silent istighfars

sometimes when angered, i would just shut up and keep silent, taking long and deep breaths, and saying silent istighfars. i do this to reset my mind to identify clearly, and face the real issue more constructively. this too is something ive learnt in recent years and pretty much is how i deal with anger usually nowadays. definitely is not what i would usually do back in the old days.

over the years, i found out (the hard way) that when anyone speaks or speaks too much when are angry, feelings will be hurt and problems would get worst. why? coz an anger driven person tend to lose grip of the situation, lose hold to rationality, and simply lose it all.

i've hurt some friends before with my big mouth, sometimes these are the ones who really mean a lot to me. i've been lucky to have been forgiven many times, but i realise second chances don't come all the time, and that's why i make it a point to learn to calm down. Terlajak perahu boleh diundur; terlajak kata, binasa.

6. Going to the basketball court, shooting long shots + slamming the board with the ball - hard

this is a classic. i do this once in awhile, more often in the past when i was in mrsm and have easy access to a ball court. i used to go to the court between subuh prayers and breakfast to cool myself down in the chilly and serene environment, while just throwing the ball. i know my temper had gone down when ive started doing lay-ups. this is my version of a physical approach to anger management, and it has never failed me.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

cuti sudah bermula...

yeahaaa.....laptop aku skarang dah virgin semula!!! baru reformat daaa~

dan....

yeahaaa~!!cuti dah start~!! and since aku kat macquarie uni, 2 kali yeahaaa la dari dak2 uni lain sbb cuti budak2 macquarie ni 2 minggu lamanye =P

[bertukar ke nada formal]

di sini saya senaraikan (tanpa mengikut susunan prioriti) beberapa perkara yang ingin saya lakukan di masa cuti ini:

(oleh kerana saya bukan pelajar TESL, maka saya tak akan melayan kawan saya dari NZ/Brisbane...haha...maaf ya, ini adalah stereotaip yang nyata bagi pelajar TESL setiap musim cuti...haha)


--lepak di city, mengeratkan silaturrahim bersama sahabat handai yang sudah lama tak ketemu
--berkaraoke + menyanyikan lagu2 wajib karaoke
--menonton persembahan dramac yang sekian lama tertangguh (maaf nisa!)
--menghadiri majlis graduasi rakan2 saya di macquarie dan di mana-mana jua uni di sydney
--menyertai 'inter uni sports carnival' sebagai pemain dan penyokong...ya, 4 tahun, masih bersemangat!
--*uhuk* belajar *uhuk*
--bermain bola keranjang
--menganjurkan kejohanan playstation 2 'pro evolution soccer' yang juga dikenali sebagai 'Justice League'
--menghubungi semula rakan2 lama di mana jua yang sudah lama tiada khabar/berhubungan.
--memulangkan tupperware tasha =P


saya rasa itulah dia agenda-agenda utama cuti ini...ingin maklumat lanjut? hubungi saya di sini dan sana...sekian =)

p/s-azan, have fun reading...this to practice your malay yo!

p-p/s - Gullible Info: "On any given day, there is a 94 percent chance that you will walk past someone with the same birthday as you."

Monday, April 02, 2007

check these out

This is the origina scene from Top Gun:




and this i found on youtube:



hahaha...i would so wanna try that stunt...hahaha....(not propose lah, but, u know...pick-up)...ooops....someone's angry!

hahaha....

Monday, March 26, 2007

weeeiirrrdddd sheeeeeeetttt maaannnnn~

halo boys and girls...

miss fatin tagged me, and i have to list down 6 weird things about me...so here goes...

Enam Perkara Pelik Mengenai Sunny!!

1- I generalize a lot. Most of times, I don't really bother much about the categorization...for example...people can have this coffee that coffee, this tea that tea...heck...they all coffee or tea to me...I think its lebey la all the types or whatever (and this relates to point number 2)...and vegetables...all of the same colour are the same (and i used to work in a salad bar..wtfbbq)...

2- My tastebuds are replication of my generalization nature. ie, they dont really work. I can't tell if the food tastes good or not...to me there are 3 categories...VERY BAD...VERY GOOD...and everything else falls in between...so...most of the time i am happy with whatever presented to me...

e.g...pizza...well, throw me any pizza, they all are ok and taste good...sometimes my friends say the food (e.g. nasi lemak) at restaurant X is good, Y is bad...blabla...but they all taste the same ok maa...so, i'm not too awed when i hear some place have really good food...coz it all tastes good to me (very rare to find very bad or very good)...ambience and company is what matters =)

3- I play Pro Evolution Soccer's (the football game on my laptop) managerial mode from year 2006 - 2028 (and counting).To those who understand the nature of the game, you might go "WTFBBQ"...but here's to those who dont...

managerial mode requires you to play a team in a full season...which is about 40 to 50 games all together per season...then do negotiations/buy-sell players, and move to the next year...and so on and so on...

now, a game is approx 20 minutes...i have played (since last year) 22 seasons (season 2006 - season 2028 currently)...22 x 45 is how many games...and to think ive lasted 22 years using only 1 team (MAN UTD ROCKS!)...and not get bored...hehehe...i dont know many players who play the way i do...

4- I love to page myself at shopping centres in malaysia. you know, those paging calls that go like "paging for mr xxx, paging for mr xxx, please come to the info counter blablabla"

its a fav past-time of mine when i hang out with friends back in the school days...we all would go to the info counter, and with full composure, i would ask for the info ppl to page my name...and then pretend to wait...then lose patience...and say thanks and chow...

its super fun ok...and its a good practice to help maintain composure in any situation...and i guess thats where i practice my bluffing skills (those who know me knows bluffing is my talent) =P

5- I love to give anologies..but azan says the weird shit is that I love to give statistical anologies...or i love to explain things in a statistical perspective...

like, a situation can be a statistical model...which has a distribution...with parameters...and behavior is defined by the distribution....for example...my sleep time is a normally distributed random variable, with mean 12 midnight and standard deviation 1 hour...

i dont know why...maybe i am just practising what i learn...maybe i am a stats freak (but i suck in stats alrite)...ah well...azan sez its weird, hence, this is on my list...

6 - cik gg sez i drink vigorously...err...i only realized it today...as i was voice-chatting online...and tried to quietly drink something...then she said "minum ekk??" ... then she explained that she had always noticed that i drink rather vigorously, much like what im drinking is not liquid, but solid...then i tried drinking slowly...but still the sound...

she said i make very loud sound when the drink goes down my esophagus...like 'kruk krak'...or something like that...ah welll...she sez its weird...at least i dont touch my food to my chin before putting them into my mouth (robert from everybody loves raymond)...


ahhh...so i guess those are the 6 weird things about me...i have no idea if they really are weird...but...what the heck =P

I tag: Zek, Gedik Queens, Faisal, Dirah....and Azan (this is better than answering helicopter questions yo!)...

Sunday, March 25, 2007

pick-up lines? oh puh-leez...

yo wassap wassap?

who needs clever, witty, pick up lines ... when u can do this:





the message reads:

"Asian Indian attractive lady friend wanted. I am polite, friendly, and $ money supportive $. I wan eazy no problem secret casual friendship, only when u are free.
eazy transport"


yeaa, me and azan saw that poster after we watched bra boys at macquarie centre a few days ago, and was on our way back to my place...totally random dude...it's like any normal 'room for rent' notices posted on the lamp post at the side of the street...

i went like..."what the..."

anyway...girls, *wink2*, go for it lah =P (you know you want to)

hehehe...


oh ya, fatin tagged me again...and this time its 6 weird things about me...hehehe...coming soon =)

Saturday, March 24, 2007

OK..FINE!!!!!

haha...don't get me wrong...i'm not mad or angry or whatever...im just fed up with this song that's stuck in my head...

yes...i like the song very much...but i've been humming to it since...err...last week i guess...

and its not like a new song or what...in fact, its AGES old...its actually a song from the movie Top Gun...you know, from the scene when Tom Cruise pics up that lady in the bar...remember?

anywa...

thank you to Azan, whom a few days ago opened up a topic about how we must watch some old school movies...which reminded me of Top Gun, which triggered me to dwld all the top gun songs...one of which i am hooked on to now...

dan kini untuk menghentikan lagu ini daripada dimainkan di kepala senantiasa...amik ni lirik lagunya!!!!!


Tittle: You've Lost That Loving Feeling
Artist: Righteous Brothers


You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips.
And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips.
You're trying hard not to show it, (baby).
But baby, baby I know it...

You've lost that lovin' feeling,Whoa, that lovin' feeling,
You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Now it's gone...gone...gone...wooooooh.

Now there's no welcome look in your eyes when I reach for you.
And now your're starting to critisize little things I do.
It makes me just feel like crying, (baby).
'Cause baby, something in you is dying.

You lost that lovin' feeling,Whoa, that lovin' feeling,
You've lost that lovin' feeling,
Now it's gone...gone...gone...woooooah

Baby, baby, I get down on my knees for you.
If you would only love me like you used to do, yeah.
We had a love...a love...a love you don't find everyday.
So don't...don't...don't...don't let it slip away.

Baby (baby), baby (baby),I beg of you please...
please,I need your love (I need your love), I need your love (I need your love),
So bring it on back (So bring it on back),
Bring it on back (so bring it on back).

Bring back that lovin' feeling,Whoa, that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling,
'Cause it's gone...gone...gone,and I can't go on,noooo...

Bring back that lovin' feeling,Whoa, that lovin' feeling
Bring back that lovin' feeling,
'Cause it's gone...gone...

note: it felt good singing this song at karaoke earlier today actually =)

Monday, March 19, 2007

alamak...tagged~!

i've been tagged by cik fatin ... and so here's ...

10 things i've eaten today

Its juz 12 pm, i cudnt possibly have eaten 10 things rite? =P so this will include yesterday =)

1. Ais kosong

2. Prescribed tablets

3. Oven baked crumbed fish

4. French toast

5. Pasta goreng tomyam

6. Smiths chips

7. Viva corn chips

8. Maggi kari pekat

9. Kopi - O

10. Roti + Tuna

Kesimpulan:

Saya tak lah makan banyak sangat sebenarnya (mengagumkan!)... dan saya juga dah beberapa hari x makan nasi! (sungguh malas...tsk3..)

DAN KINI...SAYA MENGE-TAG:

1- Zek : i dont know if u are going to update ur blog at all =P

2. Nisa: kecoh ar suro orang update je..amik ni...

3. Faisal: working man...i dont care dude...

4. Syada: Kini dah xde game arsenal (yg penting)...bolehla buat ye..

5. Tasha: sila sila...kalau x cukup makan (mungkin kerana diet), 3 hari pun boleh...


Akhir kata...
"untuk perjalanan yang lebih lancar, gunakanlah 'Smart Tag' "

Sekian...

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Happy 5th Anniversary =)

To me and cik gg...
Happy 5th anniversary~! 17th March 2007

and here's something for u cik...





Wednesday, March 14, 2007

staying strong...

i'm feeling kinda down rite now...

i look around me...and i think back on my life in sydney for the past 3 years...i can't help but feel sad...all of this might be all over soon...possibly much sooner than anyone might expect...

when i walked along the streets of sydney cbd a few days ago...this was exactly what i felt...those streets that i have walked down so many times now...they are witness to my life here in sydney...the friends i met...the good times i've had...and not to forget, the sorrow moments in life i've experienced...

to think that what will happen to me next, whether i have to say goodbye rather prematurely or not, is just a simple yes/no verdict away, i really find it difficult to handle that kind of pressure...i simply dont know how i am to cope with the unfavourable outcome...how my feet would dare step back into my own house...how my eyes would dare look at the sad faces of those who love me...

there is only so much pressure that a person can handle...and is it not normal that once in awhile, the pressure mounts to a point that one simply cracks?

i try to be strong...but i don't pretend i'm not weak...some moments, moments like these, i just can't keep being strong for myself...

Friday, February 23, 2007

Highlights of my holiday in Malaysia

It has been awhile since I've arrived back in Sydney...things hasnt been great...and not near good at all...i have had really supportive friends to help me face all these problems and i thank you all...

This blog needs an update, yea? well, yea, sorry coz in Malaysia i only had dial up and rarely go to CCs....and with what im facing since arrival, updating blog juz aint the thing i feel like doing...

anyhuu...today i feel like updating this...and here's my recap of a month-long holiday in Malaysia....

note: list not in particular order

1. Makan

How can going back to Malaysia not be related to makan,makan, and more makan??

in sydney, well, i eat kinda like, twice a day...but in malaysia...damn...pagi makan, before lunch makan, lunch makan, ptg makan...malam makan...jumpa kawan makan...perghhhh....


Man Utd and food, well, they go along well...2 hours lepak at mamak...how many can you eat?hehehe...i ate a lot...



3 man utd fans

2. Road crossing

I conclude that my road-crossing skills have deteriorated SIGNIFICANTLY.

I live approximately across one of JB's most well known landmark - Holiday Plaza (the 'pirate ship')...and since small i have been crossing the big road to go to that place...i used to be able to even stop cars to cross the road...now...sigh...malu orang JB je...




holiday plaza,very near my house


3. I am not fit to drive in JB or any major cities in Malaysia

Driving only 2 months over the past 2 years since i've got my P license is not a great achievement...and does not constitute enough skill/experience to drive on the roads of JB...damn...my bro insists he drives all the time coz he thinks im gonna crash the car...well, fair enough, im only back for 1 month...not risking an accident...not worth it...



Bangunan Sultan Ibrahim, JB...took this picture while Ary is driving


4. I like playing soccer...

...with kids =)

sureeee, i am no soccer player...sureeee, i am nowhere in terms of skills, but heyyy...lawan budak2 form 3 and skolah rendah...alaaa....kacang je =P

Danny and Jerry..the defensive midfielder and striker..



padang dekat dgn umah...damn syok...


almost every afternoon where i have the opportunity, i would go to the field not far from home to play with my twin lil bros and their friends....my bro jeffery and mate firdaus joins in sometimes too...

5. the fulfillment of a 4-year dream

for 4 years...i've kept a dream that one day i would buy the 'Murtabak Jumbo' i saw in this one shop 4 years ago...

rewind back to that time, me and firdhous were eating at Larkin Perdana, and this one stall specializes at murtabak only...hohoho...i ate there and then saw this murtabak jumbo on the menu...damn syok...and i thought, xpe, lain kali beli....4 years...FINALLY bought it...hoho...worth the wait, man...thick like 2 murtabak...length of 2 murtabaks...multiple layers of flour,beef+stuff,egg...


murtabak jumbo...nampak kecik sbb tangan besar...tp mmg besar woo murtabak..



6. a pleasant Chinese New Year

it was great i guess...saw my relatives after 1 year...the uncles and aunties sing karaoke at night....seeing a-ma (what i call my grandma on dad's side) happy...then going back to kampung (mom's side) which is juz about 10km away...and since its school holidays...met up with my relatives from mom's side too...lepak at nenek's house too...and FINALLY took picture of my kampung (mom's side)...


The whole family + A-Ma...wana ckp dia nmpk mcm bdk indo..sape suro bnyk sgt ngk citer indo?




Papa karaoke-ing...relatives around...




rumah nenek kat Sungai Ayam




sungai kat dpn umah ke arah Gunung Banang




ke arah laut pulak...about 3-4km to sea...



7. fell sick for a week

why? is it coz of the weather??? or maybe its me eating continuously??i have no idea but my tonsil was swollen till i swear i dont have to reach deep into my mouth to feel it...sigh...

and when i see the doctor...first thing he said...sunny...haa...abit obese eh?....WTFBBQ!@! my tonsil is swollen hell and im having high fever...nice diagnosis doc...

8. the stock market is bullish

malaysia's stock market hit record high...blabla...who cares =P

9. home is streamyx-enabled, finally! =)

i got my house PC fixed, and installed streamyx...yeay!! tho it took almost 3 weeks after i left malaysia to finally work (due to technical glitch)...rite now, my family is 'connected' =)

10. ohhh...kenapa gadis-gadis kat malaysia suma cun2/cute2??

has anything happened in the past year in malaysia??or have i simply been ignorant? i definitely noticed so many beautiful/hot/cute girls during my 1 month stay in JB...fewwitttt =P (no pics here *wink*)


So thats it..a lil bit of sumthin about my trip back to malaysia...

I must say...after 3 years here overseas...i have found what i have lost quite some time ago...love for my country...

and i never missed my family more than now...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Good Morning, Tourism Malaysia, Sunny Speaking, How Can I Help You?

I won't be saying that phrase up there (tittle) for at least the foreseable future now... today (wednesday) was my last day working at the Tourism Malaysia Sydney office...

For the past month, I've been doing so many new things and have gained very useful experiences...working as an 'office boy' - to simply put it, had provided me many many meaningful things: something to spend my holiday time on, knowledge i wont get from uni, money i need to buy my plane ticket back to msia and some other essentials ...

How's a working day for me?

Wake up early - iron clothes - take the bus before 8a.m. down to the city - arrive at QVB - buy sushi for quick snack/breakfast - get into office (near Grace Hotel) at 9a.m. - talk to kak wati about things to be done - set the tasks i want/have to achieve for the day - work work work with intervals of breaks (make coffee, grab some snacks from the office pantry, chat online) - lunch n break for 1 hour - work work work - finish work at 5p.m. - either lepak a bit or straight to QVB to catch the bus back to macquarie - reach home by near 7p.m. - rest rest rest rest rest - sleep early... zzzz....

The after office hour rush

So....what kinda work have i done this past month?

Well, I issue cheques for payments and handle all the necessary documentations for each single transaction. Believe me, the process of making a payment is reaaaaaaly tedious (especially for government agencies)....

So is this considered as promotion or advertising?

you have an invoice with all necessary attachments, then you have to fill a voucher form for that invoice with information that can be very tricky and time consuming, write the cheque, stamp various official stamps on the invoice and voucher, get them signed by the bosses, make a letter for each receipient, copy the letter and cheque for record, and mail the cheque plus ori letter to receipient (which involves preparing envelope)...

at the end of the month, i made a summary of all those invoices paid, counter checked it with the bank statement to identify cleared and unpresented cheques....and made a bank reconciliation to ensure the summary money balance reconciles to the balance as per bank statement...

My month long work and desk

plus, the ever so leceh process of making a whole copy set of all the vouchers, invoices, attachments, for the office's record, while the original set is sent to HQ at KL. phew...as leceh as all this may seem, now i look back at it, it was really an interesting process to experience...

Sungguh tekun posing nampaknya...

hmm...i also attend the front desk, meaning: i answer phone calls and direct them or attend to the caller's request, and i entertain the customers that come in for information on various things, from cost of taxi from batu feringghi to georgetown, to what's there to do in selangor (this is reaaaaaaaaaly difficult for me to answer...conflict of interest u c...like, selangor?nahhh)

"yes...yes...no no...we don't sell DVD 9s here.."

it really is a great practice for communication skills...and it gives me great satisfaction when i am able to solve an enquiry and help the tourists with their trip...another important thing is that its also great to practice the high level of customer service that's expected in a country like australia...its the kind of culture malaysian service sector has to embrace...

"well, in Selangor...you can go...err...sight seeing.."

aside from my main jobs as described above, i do letter typings, photocopyings, help out staffs with what they need, update website, install printers, analyse datas, bank in money...you know, all those kinda things...

Well.....Thank you very the very much to kak wati who helped me with the many things that i didnt know and for helping me adapt....thanks to uncle nanang n cik rosnah who really look after me and always ask me to take a break or grab some snacks or coffee from the pantry, thanks guys - i've taken my break...hehe...thanks zek for the company during working and off working hours...thank you to anne, wendy, and balljid for the belanja, the advices, the assistance in handling customers...thank you mr shahrin for giving me the opportunity to work at tourism and the many things i learnt from you...korang suma mantap ah!

Hence, i close yet another exciting chapter of my life...I leave for Malaysia on Saturday 20th January, 4pm flight to KLIA from Sydney...this has been a meaning ful summer holiday - one that i'm glad of how i spent it...


Uncle Nanang and Me

Kak Wati and Me

Anne and Me

Wendy and Me

Cik Rosnah and Me

En. Shahrin and Me