I am damn bored...my internet is super slow, cant do shit with it really...blardy housemates who dwld like wan kind....im out of my house half of the time each week...which means IT WASNT ME!
Anyway...a few days ago, while walking, stressed, i thought of this theory for relationship, an anology for it... If you read on, you might even learn how to play poker (well, the basics at least) ~!
Firstly, in short, a poker game starts off with each player being dealt a pair of cards. if played till the end, each player uses his/her pair of cards combined with 5 other 'communal' cards, ie cards that are shared with other players too (making a pool of 7 cards) and determine the highest ordered combination of 5 cards (flush, full house, etc) they each have. players compare their combination, and player with best combination wins the round.
When the pair of card is being dealt, each player will assess the possibilities or strengths of the pair. if they think the pair is worth going on, or they just feel like it, the player will place a bet to join the game. else, he will 'fold' (meaning: cabut lari...pass the round).
Once who's in and who's out is confirmed, the dealer will unveil the first 3 communal cards. so now, each player combines their unique pair with the 3 cards to see how things go. is there hope for a good combination at the end? is it worth going on? indeed, with 3 new cards, the picture is clearer - these 3 cards now draw a dottted line separating hope and chance, dream and reality ... what might have been and what would be...
So, if the situation looks good, the player will continue, placing bets if necessary, taking risks. if situation is shit, hopes that came with the initial pare shattered with the 3 communal cards unveiled, the player will fold and not waste more resources chasing a lost cause.
the 4th communal card is then unveiled. players assess their position again. how are the chances? do i have 'something'? indeed, now with 6 cards in the picture, it should be pretty clear what the situation would be after 7 cards. again the process of deliberation - whether to take the gamble on the 7th card, whether to carry on, whether this bluff is worth it, whether this dream is now too costly....
again, a player may continue or fold. once the bettings are done, the 5th and final communal card is shown. now the picture is almost perfectly clear. almost, because you can only now know your best combination. win or lose, it still depends what your oppenents have. that, you can only guess. you still dont know, you will never know unless you go on with the final bettings, gambling what you have, taking more risks, to join the group of last persons standing.
now, at this stage, something interesting occurs to the mind. the player have already gone so far in the game. a lot have already been risked. folding means those resources put in is gone. the more you are in, the harder it is to get out. many would just go on because of this, some would still have the discipline to think losing X doesnt mean i have to lose more by going on...
then after those staying on have finished betting, all cards are unveiled. the winner is determined.
relationships are like poker games. you get into one with limited knowledge, there is only so much one can know about another without being in a relationship. you can hope, you can guess, you can extrapolate....you get into one....you risk time, effort, you feelings...you get into a poker game by just seeing 2 of 7 cards...
the more you get into a relationship, the more you know, the more is unveiled. your mind constantly reassess your position subconciously. is it as worth it as it initially looked? should more of everything be put into the relationship? indeed, the more u know, the more u know where 'your cards' are going...the more you know whether you should continue betting or fold...
but wait, knowing 'your cards' is just part of the game...what the other players have will determine whether u win or not. indeed, there is a huge part in relationship that's just a big black box. and so while you can get out of a game with knowledge of what you have, you can stay in with 2 ways - betting on what you have, or betting on what others have.
isn't that the case with relationships? you can leave because you are not happy. but you can either stay because you are happy or because you are not unhappy enough, you bet on 'the other player' - fate.
of course, in poker you can bluff. you can go on with nothing and hope you scare others, or call other's bluff. but in relationships, you opponents are yourself and fate, you are not playing against anyone...what's the point in bluffing yourself or fate?
so you either stay, and wait for the cards to be unveiled completely and find out whether you are a winner or a loser, whether your gamble has paid off, whether it was all worth it after all or not.....or you can fold, you wait for the next round, and wait for your next pair of cards to continue all over again...eventually, you will run out of chips if you keep folding...and at some stage, the game will have to go till the wire for you....
and so, that is all i have thought of during a walk on one warm night, while stressed.
maan...that was one productive walk...is this worth publishing in a magazine or relationship studies journal or somethin? hahahahaha.....
favourite word of the moment: between.
wakakakakakaka....
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