today (technically yesterday, saturday, all the way to the wee hours of sunday) was a good day and a not so good day at the same time...
in this one day ive managed to experience so much emotions...and they are: happy, sad, excited, down, curious, upbeat, dissapointed, relief, lonely, stress, bored, thrilled, no-feeling, doubts, and much much more...
mgm itself was great...but... (disclaimer, this 'but' has nothing to do with the event at all) well, only zek n faisal now knows why the but...feel free to ask if you wanna know (or care to know)...you might make my day...
to a certain extent, today has seriusly brought up these thoughts in my head...
a) sometimes i feel totally useless...i feel like crap...like what's the point? who am i? it really sucks to feel that way...this whole feeling sucks in the first place, its kinda childish, it might not be warranted....and the worst part is...while i know how exactly to console a person in this situation...i cant do it for myself...i need someone to help me...but...well...ask me if you are interested to fill this void...(sincerity and understanding is most needed...i dont need a smart-ass debate, i already did that between me and me...)
b) i am kidding myself more and more each day...its a make believe land ive been living in lately, and i think the only fool is me myself...i shall try to stop pretending and realize the facts here...avoiding needlessly hurting myself and others...giving unnecessary pressure to myself with expectations that are seriusly unrealistic...in short: a certain something changed, i adjust, my expectations adjust, and as a result, reality hurts even more...
ah well..
p/s : bravo mgm peepz! this mgm will be remembered always....you all did well...salute~!
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