things i do when i'm angry

Tasha tagged me for this...and i think its quite interesting, because from high school years till now, my temperament had changed dramatically and hence my ways of dealing with anger.

I used to be very very bad tempered/hot headed. Right now, i've probably mellowed. Old age? hahaha...i call it 'getting matured'. So, here goes....things i do when i'm angry:

1. Shout.

i shout (more in the past) when im angry on certain occasions, and sometimes, the shouting would also include swearing. a recent example: a UTS player needlessly slide-tackled and injured one of my soccer teammates during sports carnival few days ago. they were 3-0 up, and it was a stupid+unnecessary challenge. i was mad coz i know how it feels to suffer such heavy injury like a broken bone, and i made sure that UTS player knew my feelings after the match by shouting at him and his whole team.

i felt bad after that for shouting, went to the whole UTS team, and apologized for my outburst, particularly to that guy - but i made a point that the message i was getting across stands.

2. Walk off or Send off

this is something i do when my anger is related to dissapointment. i would be still for a moment absorbing whatever that is happening around me, and walk off the scene to solitary to further calm myself and re-evaluate everything. i would return to the scene to confront matters, usually more composed and with an apology.

or, i would send off the person who made me angry, probably by asking him/her to do something else away from the scene or just take a break, so that i can cool down, then probably recall the person back when we both are ready to get over it all and move forward. sometimes there would be a verbal apology, but sometimes, apologies come in the form of actions and need not be spoken.

3. Be Funny, with or without sarcasm attached (usually with)

this comes in situation when somehow i could instantly get composed and find some witty remarks about the situation. usually the type of anger associated is not terribly serious.

in a stressful situation, an effective joke could almost immediately change everyone's gear to a more calm and constructive level, instead of staying full of emotions and anger. it's not easy to be funny when angry, but more often than before, ive been able to do it.

when sarcasm is being attached, it usually is aimed at a target that's not present, or source of anger that's elsewhere. this is simply because sarcasm can easily make the joke back-fire and trigger bigger flares of tension.

4. Slam my keyboard/desk + clinch my fist.

so far, no keyboards/desks had been broken, no fists were really thrown at anyone/thing but air. usually this method is used when dealing with computer-related anger. for example, when i play PES and have 15 shots on target but no goals, or a crashing computer (which has the most perfect timing).

sometimes its funny when i think back, coz sometimes, why i played the game in the first place is to relieve my tension - but turned out to have made me more angry. lucky, at least the anger is channeled elsewhere.

tip: buy a 15 dollar pariah keyboard with hard keys - they are as effective as the fancy-mancy ones, but are much much more durable, and they cost less if destined to be destroyed by anger-driven mighty you.

5. keep mum + long breaths + silent istighfars

sometimes when angered, i would just shut up and keep silent, taking long and deep breaths, and saying silent istighfars. i do this to reset my mind to identify clearly, and face the real issue more constructively. this too is something ive learnt in recent years and pretty much is how i deal with anger usually nowadays. definitely is not what i would usually do back in the old days.

over the years, i found out (the hard way) that when anyone speaks or speaks too much when are angry, feelings will be hurt and problems would get worst. why? coz an anger driven person tend to lose grip of the situation, lose hold to rationality, and simply lose it all.

i've hurt some friends before with my big mouth, sometimes these are the ones who really mean a lot to me. i've been lucky to have been forgiven many times, but i realise second chances don't come all the time, and that's why i make it a point to learn to calm down. Terlajak perahu boleh diundur; terlajak kata, binasa.

6. Going to the basketball court, shooting long shots + slamming the board with the ball - hard

this is a classic. i do this once in awhile, more often in the past when i was in mrsm and have easy access to a ball court. i used to go to the court between subuh prayers and breakfast to cool myself down in the chilly and serene environment, while just throwing the ball. i know my temper had gone down when ive started doing lay-ups. this is my version of a physical approach to anger management, and it has never failed me.